Choosing a Different Lens: Why the Way We Talk About Death Matters

Most of us inherit a certain lens on death and grief—whether we know it or not. In many Western spaces, that lens is blurry, muted, or completely missing. We’re taught that grief is something to get over. That death is something to fear, avoid, or push away.

But what if we didn’t treat death like a taboo? What if we didn’t treat grief like a detour?

Across cultures, there are different ways of approaching these moments. Some traditions normalize talking about death early and often. Others include children in rituals, discussions, even logistics. These aren’t morbid practices. They’re acts of love. And preparation of the reality of life.

In my own experience, having a cultural framework for loss made an enormous difference—not because it protected me from pain, but because it gave the pain a place to go. It gave it shape. Language. Meaning.

The truth is, silence doesn’t shield us. It just leaves us unprepared.

Whether we’re navigating the death of a parent, supporting someone through grief, or simply thinking about the future, the lens we carry matters. It determines how we show up. What we expect. What we believe is possible.

And like any lens, it can be examined. Reframed. Even replaced.

So if the stories you inherited about death and grief leave you feeling isolated, ashamed, or unprepared—pause. Ask yourself: What else might be true?

You don’t have to wait for a loss to begin this work. In fact, the most powerful time to begin is before crisis strikes.

There’s another way forward. One that doesn’t avoid the hard parts, but meets them with clarity, compassion, and a plan.

It starts with asking better questions.

Want to feel more prepared for loss—even before it happens?

Download my free guide: How To Feel More Prepared for Loss

in Life’s Changing Seasons

https://pages.beyondendoflifeplanning.com/guide-1-3714